He is just not that into you; so deal with it!!!

This article appeared in th Sunday Monitor Full Woman Magazine, hit the nail on the head (again) To my girlfriends out there, please read and just ease off. There is definately more to life and LOVE!

Hang tight - MO

He is just not that into you; so deal with it
By Lulu Jemimah

A growing number of women are wedged in nonexistent relationships because they have failed to see or have seen but ignored the signs that the man their hearts are after does not share the same sentiments. It could be after a date, a long friendship, a series of break ups or during a failing relationship but you still aren’t sure whether he likes you or not and can only hope he does. It’s time you release your grip on these allusions and come to terms with the fact that he just isn’t into you.

When not sure whether a man is interested in them, women can come up with all sorts of excuses to defend his apparent lack of interest. Some will assume he is too shy to reveal his feelings or that he fears to ruin the friendship.

Others will convince themselves that he needs time to nurse a previous heart break or that he will finally leave his philandering ways and notice her as the only woman for him. They then take it upon themselves to switch roles and shower him with affection until he caves in.

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Men are not good at hiding how they feel. Whether he’s impulsive or shy, healing from a broken heart, unbelievably soft-spoken, blunt or laid back; a man will have no problem letting you know or expressing the way he feels about you.

Women should stop torturing themselves with the he loves me, he loves me not mind game because there are behaviour trends that would ascertain he loves you not. You do not have to launch an attack on him or try to make him aware of how he really feels about you.

If he insists he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship and keeps referring to you as a good friend despite your open show of affection, then you should take his excuses for what they are; a polite rejection.

It is understandable to give one time to forget a bad relationship but if he brings her up every opportunity he gets, then it could be that he doesn’t want to forget her in the first place.

It is not your place to decide that he should be with you rather than alone. Give him breathing space and if he wants to, he will. The last thing he needs is you trying to take the place of someone who hurt him. Do not stalk or suffocate him with phone calls and gifts.

Sometimes you are already in a relationship with someone but are too stubborn to acknowledge that he isn’t as infatuated with you as you are with him. He openly talks about other women and doesn’t consider your feelings.

He will only see you after your insistent calls and will dash away the moment something else comes up. You are the one making the phone calls, sending the messages and suggesting the meetings. Every time he calls to see you, it’s because he needs you and you are always the first to apologise after any row, no matter whose fault it is. He doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend and makes no endeavour to contribute to any future plans.

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It takes time and maturity to realise that you are chasing the wind. The chances of such a liaison growing into an intimate relationship are slim to none. Life is too short to spend it waiting for someone to love you back