I studied pshchology whilst at the University, but believe you me no amount of lectures can perpare you for the real world. One of which is in the use of reverse psychology.
Wikipedia defines Reverse Psychology as when you do something and hope to get the opposite reaction. For example, if you wanted to get someone to take what you were offering, you would say they couldn't have it.
This is often used with little children to get them to eat their food. I am however getting to observe its higher form application in relationships. All forms of relationships including the dating world.
Whilst one should find it facinating to slowly discover a potential partner's inner person and true identity, there lies a category of persons who wouldnt want to waste time on what should be the foundation of a solid relationship.
It narrows down to one trying non idealistic ways of getting what they want in a shallow but pretty simplistic way.
Tell me, how often has someone laid the "blame" on you when a relationship did not work out by refering to your seemingly "defunct" personality. "I would really love to be with you but you are ...'
It is pretty crappy but if you are the humble individual who "doesnt want to be reponsible for hurting others feelings" its a death trap!
Hey! dont be fooled, giving in is like selling your soul. That kind of person just aint worth it. They want you to want them not for what they are but what they have and believe you me, it is two way! A total loss out for you but a great gain for them! Afterall, they simply weren't in it!
Personally i find it manipulative and dishonest. Why should there be twisting of ones thoughts, personality and virtues in order to attain affection.
At its best, I am bound to think its a total abyss.
To you lovers of truth... "more than all else that is to be guarded, safeguard your heart, for out of it are the sources of life."—PROVERBS 4:23
4 comments:
Hey sometimes love is liking running a mile in 10 seconds. People come into our lives and walk with us for a mile, and then because of circumstance they only stay a while. They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by, and then they are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why. I believe it is not manipulative, but one quickly identifies what he needs in relationship. As soon as one realizes that it in not an ideal scenerio,the person moves on. You don't need a century to know someone. In my opinion a week is adequate. You need to identify the core values you are looking for in a relationship. These can be identified from the first date.
Hey Mo , Nice piece....
Paulo Coelho quotes that "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
However there are manipulative pple out there just like Mo says..and its very sad that people want to rush into EVERYTHING!
I think that when we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love.
It really doesnt take a genius to know that someone isnt compatible with you just like Peter says , even on a first date .
Perhaps when we fall in love and the very first time we see the (wo)man of our dreams, even though, at the time, reason may be telling otherwise, and we may fight against that instinct, hoping against hope that we won't win, until there comes a point when we allow ourselves to be vanquished by our feelings...
All in all I concur Mo...we must all safeguard our hearts..Peace
I've fallen in love with the perfect woman, a thousand times.Perhaps it is because i am open minded and open hearted but how can you claim to love when you love a little, love with the whole heart and enjoy what you have for the moment, life is too short to spend sitting on the fence
Hi everyone. Thank you for your insight and comments.
Peter, I agree, you dont need forever to know things wont work out. Unfortunately times have changed, people just skip the chemistry and jump to the biology! (Lord have mercy!)
Milly, love what u said about looking for love courageously. Times have changed, we too (women) need to make the first move sometimes (Tehehe)Its a tough battle between the heart and the mind. Reason and feelings!
Kenneth! Do I narrowly feature in the Ms Perfect category (LOL)Let me put it this way, if you find true love and it is returned, yes, enjoy it, cause nothing beats that feeling.
In the meantime, what happened to the concept of courtship?
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