She had to fight him with all her might AND get the firewood home regardless. It was not going to be easy. The older girls had talked about it, how you have to be the stronger one, and take advantage of your sturdy legs by crossing them with all your might. He mustn't win if you dont want him for a husband!
That is the defination of courtship in Karamoja. Once the "groom" has raped the "bride", he has to pay bride price of 100 cows and take her straight away to his kraal to cook for him and continue her life as the beast of burden. No words spoken, no questions asked!
Much as some would regard that as "savage" I am beggining to have a different take on it since the same concept is actually happening in the "civilised" world only that is obscure and well hidden in a more subtle format.
The Karamojong community do not even raise an eyebrow and neither does the mordern world. It is looked at using rose coloured glasses and named just as rosy. One night stands, co-habiting, stay in girlfriend?
Whatever happened to courtship! The getting to know someone for who they were, falling in love with this person and building a good foundation to a great marriage?
Today's courtship or should i say dating (which happens to be a pretty easy take on courtship) is all about having a great time and hiding the real you! I recall how guys at campus used to like to protray this illusion of being 'loaded'! by having a tray of eggs in their rooms, and if you picked any of them you would find them empty of their contents through a precise incision!
Courtship is about being the real you with no skeletons in the closet. Its more about giving and not self gratification. Using each day to get to know the person and finding more and more reason to love them!
Times have changed, people look at casual dating as the ultimate way out from emotional baggage! No wonder marriages are failing 3 months down the road! How can it possibly work when everything, both physical and emotional are done without committment?
The big qtn? - What do you want?
4 comments:
Want i want ??Mmmmh...COURTSHIP any day :) you dont know how many guys i've turned back because they want to walk before they can crawl!lol
Call me old fashioned but i like to be courted...not things shoved down my throat like my opinions doesnt matter, or just because its the "IN THING"..its just suicide, plain suicide....TO BE CONTINUED!
what things were shoved down your throat?
the courtship ship(pun intended) has sailed as long as you are live in uganda, most gals and guys seem to have an unwritten agreement that they should first run(20s), then trot(30s) then walk(40s) and finally crawl(around 50yrs) ; something to do with reducing the sample space of potential partners is the reason so many are running before they are ready so you find courtship thrown out of the window for the convinience of not having to deal with the "heavy" emotions involved
Thank God i dont live in Uganda (phews)...and thats why am old fashioned.
That's why they are dying before they can crawl( not many youth to see 50yrs) instead we are reducing our youth and living our parents / grandparents ... Sample this Kennedy...
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It
is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.
ps: nothing has ever been shoved down my throat , it was just a figure of expression, mine!lol
I don't think its limited to Uganda only. I understand that its worse in "developed" countries where the girls court the guy.
The biblical design didn't have the three modes in that order..rather, marriage was arranged and once you stayed with each other, you attempted courtship and eventually realised that would never work, hence settling for friendship.
Love(and its other variations) were mainly for procreation purposes.
Today,not much has changed. While the ideal woman would like to get to know a man before they eat the icecream, the reality is that time shifts too fast for that, the lady feeling like she has to settle down before a certain age, the man trying to sow as many wild oats as possible; am i rambling,i should take a moment and wine some wine
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